When one thinks of war the first thing that may come to mind is the violent battle between two different countries that are in conflict (for example-Iraq and U.S). However, war can be used to describe various emotions, particularly one’s internal struggle. Naomi Ayala’s poem, “Within Me” totally blew me away for that reason. In her poem she reveals how war can exist in one’s personal environment, and how it can be an internal or external battle.
When I first read this poem I wasn’t too sure about the meaning, but as I kept re-reading it I realized there can be multiple interpretations of it. In my opinion I think the poet is writing about her surroundings and the ugliness of the world. She starts off the poem by saying, “War begins right here on my street. / It begins with me.” Here, we can see that the poem is going to be a story about her internal struggle given that she states war “begins with [her].” She states:
War begins with me.
It is with me that war begins
Right here on the street
In the small showers of bullets
In an empty garbage can
In what I say and do not say.
Here, the poet is clearly commenting on the war on the streets (gang violence) particularly when she states “in the small showers of bullets.” For the speaker of the poem this is her war struggling to survive in an area where “showers of bullets” are flying, where the homeless has to scurry around for food in “empty garbage cans.” And I assume, for the speaker it’s hard for her because she cannot or feels like she has to stay silent. It is a clear indication when she says “in what I say or do not say.”
I also thought that the speaker of the poem of is struggling with accepting her own homosexuality (I hope this is not out of context) but throughout the poem she personifies war as a women, “I see her weapons in the eyes of a child, / her face in window panes/ there are times I want war. / I lie down with her.” Here, she is saying that she sees war everywhere and that she wants to “lie” down with her. The fact that she says that reminds me of somebody battling with their own sexuality. As the poem progresses there are more hints that the poem may refer to the speaker’s sexuality.
“ She is in my fingers
In the shadow of my eyes
In my lover’s hair
I sing to her so that she may leave
So that the war leaves me
Today I sing to her
And she lets me sing
The fact that she does not want the presence of war anymore can indicate that she is tired of feeling as if her homosexuality is a bad thing. In the end, however the speaker finally comes to terms with her sexuality given that she states that war lets her sing to her so that war can leave. I could be wrong with my overall interpretation of the poem, but that is how I read it and those were the thoughts that came to mind.
I really liked this poet, you guys should listen to her read it in Spanish it is amazing!
-Lizzie Chaidez
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i posted the link. thanks for alerting me. it's amazing and heightened in spanish.
ReplyDeletee
Naomi Ayala's poem "Within Me" and Lawrence Joseph's poem "Inclined to Speak" appear to have a similar feel and meaning. Overcoming the silence and intimidation at times not to speak on our social environments or internal conflicts. I thought you had an interesting interpretation regarding Ayala's sexuality, that just might be true.
ReplyDeleteI don't know that the speaker has to be expressing a sense of homosexuality but maybe just a juxtaposition of gender. We never think of war as being female. I think her expression of war is visceral a fighting that is fragile and painful, a chaotic dance. I think the poem makes women powerful and dangerous. But I love that its this poem you chose to discuss. It says so many things.
ReplyDeleteThis poem gave me pause because Ayala personifies war as a woman – I like Aries’ comment that it makes women powerful and dangerous. I also felt the internalization of war in the poem, but I thought war also had an element of the “shared feature” we talked about in class. The speaker says “[w]ar begins with me,” and it gets personal, but when she says
ReplyDelete“[t]here are times when I want war,” I thought she meant that there are times when we need to fight back, specifically when “she [war] enters my house.” There’s something there I think about defending yourself and “the children of [one’s] soul.” There may be no other response when your children are threatened. The problem, however, might be in the seductive nature of war. Once you think about war as a self-defensive measure, isn’t it too easy to justify?
Thanks for sharing the reading Ayala did; my Spanish is weak, but the passion came through.
Sheila
And regardless what type of war one may be up against or in the midst of sometimes you have to stop fighting to clear your head and get a firm and clear bearing..
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