Reading Hal Sirowitz “Deformed Finger” reminded me how parents, society and media perceive deformities as something unacceptable. The poem is a narrative about a child who constantly sticks his finger in a ketchup bottle and does not obey his mother’s rules. The mother of the poem tells her son that if his father finds a fingernail in the ketchup “He’ll yank [his finger] out so hard that for the rest of [his] life [he] won’t be able to wear a ring on that finger.” She goes on to tell him that when he gets a girlfriend she will not take him seriously because of his deformed finger and the fact that he did not obey his mother’s rules.
It is interesting because on the surface the poem is a cautionary tale in terms of not listening to one’s parents as well as a tale about a girlfriend not taking her partner seriously. Under the surface, or from my understanding the poem is about a fear of having a physical deformity. The fact that the mother tells the speaker of the poem that the girlfriend will leave him shows us the reality of how society or other folks perceive deformities. Here, deformity is not depicted as something monstrous or ugly, but is depicted as something that is unacceptable. The girl will like him because of his finger.
I know I usually relate this poem to my personal life, which can probably be annoying, but this piece reminded me of my childhood. Media tells us (women and men) that we should look a particular way—tall, skinny, light skinned, blue eyes, etc…as for me the ideal man is tall, dark and handsome. So when someone has a deformity or something that is not physically considered beautiful then we are quick to jump and judge someone based on his or her looks. My point is that we (hate to say we cause it isn’t everyone) tend to pick out the “ugly” characteristics of a person and sometimes fear that we may have those characteristics because of what other people may say or think about us. But the reality is that everyone is beautiful in his or her own way, regardless of looks. And sadly, looks are highly valued in American society
Thanks for the thoughts Lizzie. Society is always pushing us to be things that we're not and in music and poetry this is especially true. In certain forms of music there is an expectation of message. In rap and hip hop we expect to hear about ppl being shot or ppl being in gangs or even women being hoes. In other types of music tropes of love and infidelity are popular and all because someone decided that it should be so. Thanks again for your comments.
ReplyDeleteI think of the poem also as cultural commentary on the expectations that the son be straight and get married. And that the underlying assumption is that no one will want him... that he has to do everything to attract a possible wife. Also how in all Sirowitz's poems one tiny detail spirals into a huge explanation by the mother, usually involving threat of unhappiness. This also seems to be a view into a particular kind of cultural upbringing / value system.
ReplyDelete